December 3, 2015
I deal a lot with feeling down about myself and self conscious issues. A friend of mine and I went through a rough patch where we were both really depressed. She actually tried killing herself and I was a part of that, trying to stop it. It was more her than me, but I tried to stop that and help her.
I started seeing a therapist half way through junior year, in the winter. At first it turns into a venting session, but after awhile it turns into trying to figure out what you can do to make your life better. I stopped [seeing a therapist] at the end of the school year. It was because we were having issues as a family with her and we were going to find somebody else, but that didn’t happen because I was feeling better. I think that after me and my ex-boyfriend broke up a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders, it was like if I needed somebody, I can go and talk to somebody. It was that break and trying to find somebody new and the break up where I realized that I can do it on my own, but if I need somebody, these resources are here.
When things were getting really bad with my relationship, I started doodling and that turned into drawing things which turned into getting an adult coloring book, which were the same flower like things that I had tried to draw but I am not an artist. It was just something that I fell into.
At the time that I was feeling the worst was when I was dating my ex-boyfriend. I think that I blamed him a lot for it. I think that our relationship had a lot to do with why I was feeling the way I was but it wasn’t just him. I don’t feel like I can talk freely about it because I don’t want people to think that it is just his fault.