Growing up, my sister went to therapy a lot. I remember sitting in the car as my mom walked her into a tall glass office building across town every Tuesday for her session. I remember her gifting my brother and I the Valentine’s Day cards she made with her therapist. I remember my parents rewarding her with ice cream for going to therapy on the days she dreaded it most.
My sister was diagnosed with Barakat syndrome and autism as a toddler. With this, she had significant emotional, mental and physical needs. Early on, she struggled most with emotional control and communicating with others. She is severely hearing impaired, so when she wasn’t wearing hearing aids or my mother wasn’t using sign language, she couldn’t always tell others what she needed.
This resulted in many tantrums. In preschool, I saw her kick a hole in her bedroom wall, and in first grade, I watched as she threw a red toy car at my brother’s head, which landed him in the emergency room.
I struggled to comprehend that despite her being six years older than me, we processed our emotions the same.
My sister is also prone to health issues. In third grade, she blew a fever overnight from a kidney infection that resulted in sepsis the following day. From an early age, I appreciated life’s frailty and the importance of gaining the right skills to process emotions and ask for help when needed.
My sister’s grocery list of therapies started before pre-school: she took speech therapy to learn to talk, occupational therapy for sensory issues, behavioral therapy for outbursts and general counseling.
As she started so young, her sessions were rarely the traditional: “talk in a chair for 50 minutes.”
Instead, she made arts and crafts for fine motor skills or learned phrases like “glass man,” a reminder that you can’t fall apart every time you get upset—my favorite was “funny-one-time man,” a reminder that a joke is only funny once, no need to repeat it over and over.
These therapies helped my sister immensely. She gained better control of her emotions and body. As for me, I learned the impact therapy can have because as much as it helped her, it helped my family.
She transitioned to public school in eighth grade, which was tough. Her school was wonderful and offered lots of support; she took most classes with students at her pace and met with counselors and specialists regularly.
The resources available within the walls of her school made going everyday manageable. She graduated high school in 2019.
Growing up alongside my sister gave me a perspective that I otherwise wouldn’t have had. Therapy is transformative, and transformative to everyone around. Nonetheless, I was taught that the path to growth isn’t an easy one. She worked hard to get where she is now and continues to do so every day. My sister’s story is a reminder that with the right support and perseverance one can overcome any obstacle, and that growth can extend beyond them and onto those who love them.
