Snow Day takes CHS by storm

Globe Staff

Snow Day's Profile Picture on Facebook
Snow Day’s Profile Picture on Facebook

A storm has been brewing over the past three years at Clayton High, gaining friends and followers in the process. With snow day decisions mired in mystery and clouded in controversy, an anonymous Facebook profile appropriately titled “Snow Day” was created as a form of protest by someone we presume to be a Clayton High School student.

The persona of Snow Day first began to take shape when he (the profile claims masculinity) sent an email in 2010 demanding snow days to the then-superintendent Don Senti. Snow Day tells us that he sends out an email on the eve of possible school cancellations. The whimsical email, written with religious undertones, has been sent each of the past three years, to superintendents Senti, Herrmann, and Wilkinson. The letter, shared by Snow Day, reads as follows:

Thus sayeth the Lord:

Thou shalt giveth unto thy Flock a Day of Rest on the *Twelfth Day of the First Month in the Two-Thousand and Twelfth Year of Our Lord, Jesus Christ. Thou shalt frolic in the Virgin Snows and Iced-Covered Streets which thy Lord and Saviour hath providest for Thee. Thou shalt not labor or hold Periods of Scholarly Instruction on the Premises of thy School Building. And so unto thou I shalt revealeth the Eleventh Commandment, kept hidden from the Eyes of Man since the Times of the Prophet, Moses:

In the Presence of mine Wrathful, Impending Holocaust of Ice and Snow, Thou shalt declareth unto thine CHS A SNOW DAY!!!

[The only adjustment between this letter and previous letters is the date]

Despite Snow Day’s claim that the email has never failed him until his most recent attempt on Jan. 12, doubt remains as to his email’s influence on the superintendent’s final decision.

Snow Day has signed letters under varied pseudonyms, including “Master of Frosty Skies and Everything Chilly”, “Producer of Glacial Winds and Wintry Weather” and the admirably and adroitly alliterative “Savior of Students from the Stresses of School.”

Throughout his profile, biblical, political, and cultural references abound. Taking the personality of God, he claims his family includes Adam and Eve; his religious views are defined as “Ron Paul.” Additionally, his profile pictures comes from Michaelangelo’s Sistine Chapel. Describing his appearance, he claims to have a “beard descending in a frothy cataract”, a clear allusion to Mark Twain’s “The War Prayer”.

It is unclear what his relationship status is, as it is defined as simply “open.” Upon questioning, Snow Day explained that this is to have an “open relationship with humanity and high school students.”

Snow Day has received a myriad of messages from students, administrators and parents alike. They have one simple goal: uncover the mysterious identity of the organizer of such puckish behavior.

A sophomore, who spoke on conditions of absolute anonymity, claimed to be the notorious “Snow Day.” Another student was adamant that “Snow Day” was a former district employee. Nevertheless, the reigning opinion is that an upperclassman or recent alum is behind the deity.

Reaching out to this mysterious demigod demagogue through Facebook, the Globe was kindly granted an exclusive brief interview.

Who are you?

Well, revealing my identity would be no fun now, would it? I’m simply a student that enjoys snow days, nothing more. Much like Rorschach in Watchmen, I’ve taken it upon myself to aid the community—I do it by encouraging more snow days.

What inspired you to develop this alter ego?

The joy of frolicking in the powdery snows of winter is universal. Besides, such amusement is all the more amplified by the knowledge that the bitterly cold weather, a simple natural phenomenon and nothing more, has usurped the power of an institution that controls our lives. Snow undermines school, and for that, it must be revered!

(And frankly, someone has to provide an optimistic balance to pessimistic students who constantly exclaim: “don’t get your hopes up!” or “You are so wrong about tomorrow.” Yes, you know who you are.)

How successful would you consider your endeavors as “Snow Day” to have been?

Quite successful! I’ve never erred in previous years when snow days would be called, and though my prediction this morning [Jan. 12] was sadly inaccurate, nevertheless, an unprecedented event occurred; this morning marked the first response from an administrator. Dr. Losos responded to my email (her response began: “Dear God,”) on the issue, evidently a sign that my power is a very real, perhaps limitless, thing.

Any last words?

This movement is driven by students—so show your support! I’ve doubled my number of friends on Facebook over the past few days, recently reaching seventy-five, and am looking to always add more! Spread the word!