Earlier this evening, the cast of this year’s Student Run Musical was found NOT singing about a Bat Boy, but rather, hollering at a goose.

For hours, the goose took proud ownership of Carly Beard’s red buggy, parked outside the black box theater. Occasionally, it ventured to the roofs of other nearby cars, including the two police cars that had joined the efforts to scare the goose. In fear of the sirens and screaming thespians, but maintaining its poise, the goose defecated multiple times atop Beard’s vehicle before kindly retreating to a car not belonging to the cast.

Since it is the advent of the nesting season, it is likely that the goose was protecting its nearby mate and future children, according to the Missouri Department of Conservation. Students and staff should avoid parking in the top half of the strip for the next few days, while the Drama Guild hopes that the mysterious nest does not reveal a baby half-bat-half-goose.