I was in Mrs. Wilson’s first grade classroom as I used red crayons to create my poster to be used that night. “Go McGwire Go!” it read. That night I held up that sign proudly amongst thousands of replicated plastic McGwire signs handed out as fans entered the gates. But my sign was special. My sign came from the heart; it represented the unblemished joy of a true fan.

During a mildly warm, humid night I watched the game and ate my hot dog, all the while with a tingling anticipation. When the ball launched off of McGwire’s bat, a line drive home run that rocketed to left field, I and about 50,000 other baseball fans jumped up, threw our hands in the air and screamed in jubilation.

It was his 60th home run of the season. I was pretty young, but I knew he had just tied Babe Ruth and that Roger Maris’ all-time single season home run record was just one swing away. I knew that night was history, and I was part of it. Mostly I knew that that was one of the greatest nights of my young life.

Steroids have been an unavoidable controversy for baseball fans for the past few years. Athletes have held press conferences, tested positive, and even testified before Congress on the issue. Records have been questioned and suspicion is still rampant. Most importantly, many fans have felt cheated by players who have used steroids for putting a blemish on a pure and innocent game–our past time.

Recently, it was announced that Mark McGwire would become a part of the Cardinals coaching staff, as the hitting coach, emerging from a hiatus from public life since his retirement. Due to his return to baseball the steroid controversy had to be brought up again. The Press would not be satisfied until they had a definitive answer. So, Mark McGwire admitted what many fans and sportswriters saw as a foregone conclusion: that he had used steroids during his playing career.

Again the steroids issue was on the tip of everyone’s tongue. Every sports pundit has his or her opinion. Some feel that such offenders should be banned from baseball. Others feel that the steroid era is akin to the dead ball era, when the baseball itself simply did not travel as far.

The steroid issue has always been there for me as a baseball fan, but with McGwire it hits home. I’ve largely been on the fence since the controversy began. His use of steroids was wrong, and that behavior sets a poor example for kids who look up to athletes like McGwire.

At times I share the opinion of Bob Gibson, another Cardinals great, who once noted that had steroids been around in his era, he might very well have used them himself to gain a competitive edge.

I take a moderate view on McGwire compared to others. I do not hold hardly any contempt for those athletes who did take steroids, though I don’t approve of steroids and believe what they did was wrong.

One thing I can’t agree with is what noted sports columnist Jay Mariotti said and that many others have echoed. Mariotti stated that McGwire’s use of steroids had completely tarnished that magical summer where he and Sammy Sosa chased the single season home run record. I can’t accept that.

I can’t accept it because no matter what athletes put into their bodies, nothing can take away what I felt in the summer of 1998. Nothing can. Nothing can take away the joy I felt sitting in Big Mac Land praying for an upper deck shot, or seeing a McDonalds poster with Mark McGwire’s face on it and forcing my mom to turn the car towards McD’s.

McGwire has been treated unfairly. Fans and writers have forgotten all that he did for this city and for the game of baseball. The homerun race between him and Sammy Sosa brought fans back to our national past time following the contempt left over from the lockout a few years before. He helped reignite a passion for the game. When we opine about McGwire, that fact should never be forgotten.

Steroids can stop McGwire and others from being accepted to the Hall Of Fame and stop their records from being recognized and cause shrinkage to a certain body part, but that doesn’t matter as much to me. Because what steroids can never do is tarnish the memories that Mark McGwire helped give me. ü