“Oh my God.  I’m going to fail.”

How many times have I heard that phrase issuing from the mouths of Clayton High School students? Far too many times to count.  In fact, those four words—I’m going to fail—have lost their meaning, have been worn out from overuse.

It seems to me that “failure” is quite relative.  Many CHS students have differing notions of what it means to fail.  To some, it means quite literally, getting an F on an assignment or in a class.  I applaud these realists; they have maintained a level view of academic success.

However, to many students, “failing” can mean getting a grade in the B- or C range.  For some extreme cases, “failing” can mean getting anything below a 90%.

In fact, this phenomenon has a name itself: the Asian fail.  Many students—some Asian, some not—are convinced that not garnering As in every class is a symptom of academic failure.

When I find myself uttering those words, I try to consider what I really mean.  What I really mean is, “I’m concerned that I’m not going to get the grade I want on this test.”  But instead, I find myself a victim of the very heinous exaggeration that I wish would be eliminated from teenagers’ vernacular.  I’m unable to control it.

My friends always reassure me, give me confidence, and commiserate.  They know what I mean by “fail”.  We all know it’s just an exaggeration.

An exaggeration though it may be, I find that everything I say—even sarcastic comments or exaggerations—have some grain of truth to them.  So I wonder, why do I use the term “failure” so lightly?

The prevalence of this definition of failure worries me.  Who has imposed such high expectations upon our students that one percentage point, the difference between an A- and a B+, can reduce some students to tears?

I would argue that teachers, parents, and administrators shouldn’t be accused of this crime.  Students themselves are the ones who define failure for their classmates.  And that’s why Clayton is such a competitive school: we drive each other to work hard and do well.  In some ways this competitive spirit is good—it creates an environment in which academics are highly valued.

However, it can be taken to an extreme. When I find myself wondering whether my grade in one class or even on one test would impact a college admissions decision, that’s when I know I’ve let it go too far.

Sometimes at Clayton I feel surrounded by geniuses, people who can understand difficult material with little or no study.  When I say “I’m going to fail,” what I truly fear is that I won’t measure up to my fellow students.

I would encourage students (myself included) to consider what we really mean by failure.  In terms of grades, the cut-and-dry definition is that an F is a failing grade, while Ds, Cs, Bs, and As are all passing grades.  Chances are those tests you’re studying for, that paper you’re writing, won’t come back with an F.  Chances are, you won’t actually fail.

Clayton students are intellectually inquisitive, hardworking and dedicated, diverse and creative.  We should have more confidence in our abilities, and stop worrying so much.  We should be conscious of what “failing” actually means, and use the term accordingly.