Motherhood was not always part of literacy teacher Sarah LaPierre’s plan. It was not until she was about 30 that she began discussing having children with her partner.

“Coming to Clayton was actually a really big part of it. The districts where I worked, before I came to Clayton, had students who were coming from a lot less stability,” LaPierre said. 

When LaPierre came to Clayton, she noticed that her students were world travelers attending galas and fundraisers. 

“I saw what a platform they were going to have, and the fact that they were not taking that lightly. They were super interested in what was going on in the world, and they were volunteering. 

For LaPierre, that was the first time in her career when she felt she did not need to work until 7 p.m. because she knew her students were not going home to empty homes. 

“I was really inspired by the kids that I was seeing. I had all these kids that were super great. I want to tuck them in my pocket and take them home, so maybe I should also have my own amazing children,” LaPierre said.

Being a teacher and a mother has been a journey of patience, understanding and balance. LaPierre used to think that teaching would help her become a better mother to her kids, Olivia and Wyatt, but after having them, she realized that it’s the other way around.

“I think we’re all a little bit myopic. Before I had kids, I thought, ‘So what if my students have to spend 40 minutes on homework tonight’, or ‘Sure, they can knock out a couple [of] chapters over the weekend.’ How much could they really have going on? They’re 12,” LaPierre said.

Once she had her own two kids and was trying to prioritize sitting down to have family dinners, talk about their day, go to the park and then make sure that they had time to do their homework, her perspective shifted.

“School had been my top priority before I had my kids, and when I had my kids, I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, there is something more important than what I’m teaching.’ And it also made me acutely aware that, for these kids, the most important thing in their world is not happening in my English classroom. I found that I had a lot more grace with deadlines and with workload after I had kids than I really ever did before.”

With a partner working late nights in healthcare, LaPierre has found it difficult to make sure her kids get where they need to be every step of the way. As her kids pick up more activities, she, along with other mothers, has had to find other ways to keep up.

“Something that I, and a lot of mothers, had to get used to is asking for help. I will not apologize for saying a lot of women. Of all the parents that I’ve talked to, I can definitely say that something that has been more difficult for mothers that I know than for fathers that I know,” LaPierre said.

LaPierre believes we are a culture that expects moms to have it all. 

“No matter what they’re doing, it is hard to ask for help without feeling like you’re messing up. Like ‘I should be able to do this.’ ‘I should be able to be in two places at once,’ and have packed an extra change of clothes, and two sets of snacks, and also a med kit, and then also make sure that I am going to make it to the PTO Zoom at 7 p.m., which I might have to call in from my car, but I certainly am expected to be there, because if not, then I’m the mom that doesn’t care,” LaPierre said. “There is a sisterhood I never expected to be part of. Being able to look at someone else and know that you’re all in it together is surreal.”

From her kids’ many activities, she’s found a group of mothers who continue to support each other.

“It absolutely does take a village. I rely a lot on people to pick up things that I cannot physically do. For example, Olivia is going to get a ride to her practice with one of her friends, and that’s gonna save my butt, because I have to be here with Wyatt. The reason that I have to be here with Wyatt is because there’s another kiddo whose mom is dropping him off [here with Wyatt] because she has to have his sister at a piano lesson. It’s a lot of just, ‘Let me know how we can support you. Let me know if I can cover this.’ There is a sisterhood I never expected to be part of. Being able to look at someone else and know that you’re all in it together is surreal,” LaPierre said. “You would not expect that until you’ve been in a playground on Saturday morning and you’re feeding apple slices to someone else’s child.” 

Driving from practice to practice and making sure her kids have everything they need can be tiring for LaPierre. But she’s found that her kids are always willing to cheer her on.

“I took Olivia to theater practice, and took him to soccer practice and then came home, and I had to hop on a Zoom meeting. And I said, ‘I’m so tired. I’m just so tired, and I just want to go to sleep.’ And Wyatt was like, ‘I know, I know, but it’s okay, and tomorrow night, I’ll snuggle you.’ I was super sick on Easter, and so I didn’t even get to see them open their Easter baskets. When I woke up to go to church, there was a note on my pillow, and Wyatt was like, ‘Thank you so much for making my Easter so special, even though you have so many responsibilities,’” LaPierre said. “I taught them the things you’re supposed to teach your kids. They know their colors, their shapes, and all their numbers. You told them to be these good people that care about things. Then you get to catch them just being amazing in ways that you never were. That’s like the most extraordinary thing.”

For LaPierre, being a mother has been humbling. As adults, she reflects, we move through the world so quickly, but her children have helped her slow down and see it again; the first snowfall, a field of dandelions, and the wonder of the St. Louis Zoo.

“My daughter was pressed up against the glass. She was two years old, and there was a seal that was mimicking her — she would open her mouth to kiss the seal. I was talking to my husband [and] I made this stupid offhanded comment, and my husband said ‘It’s because it would never occur to you to slow down long enough to press your face against the glass,’” LaPierre said. 

For LaPierre, that sums up what it has been like to have children.

“I see beauty in so many ways. I see beauty in my students and the ideas that they have, the things that they care about and these moments that they share [that] I get to witness. Then watching my children have this experience gives me permission to not spectate,” LaPierre said, “And so if it means looking really silly and kneeling down to put my hands up against that nasty, disgusting glass, the seals will come and kiss you too.”