Breakfast. The-most-important-meal-of-the-day. I have been lectured on the nutritional value of breakfast for years- from parents, grandparents, pre-school teachers, and bright restaurant advertisements on highways. While I agree that breakfast is certainly the most important factor in increasing the productivity of a human being, it is nevertheless the least enjoyable for me for a variety of reasons. Reader, I sincerely hope by the end of this documentation of my personal breakfast experiences, you will agree with me.

I have had a hateful relationship with the dreaded morning meal for as long as I can remember. I admit to being a very particular sort of person, and thus certain types of foods simply will not do. My parents endlessly attempted to push everything from bananas to oatmeal toward me as a child, though I stubbornly refused. There were a certain number of token items I would consume- certain types of cereal WITHOUT milk, chocolate chip bagels (and ONLY chocolate chip), and occasionally yogurt. My parents would only submit to buying bagels from Panera Bread or our local Cincinnati Mike’s Bagels every now and then, so I was largely limited in choices.

I like to think that I’ve matured to become a sensible, reasonable being in our modern society. However, I regret to admit that I really haven’t grown much as a breakfast eater. In later years, my parents pushed “Instant Breakfast” shakes blended in our blender, which were absolutely revolting. I had almost given up upon every being happy with breakfast, or mornings in general, when I discovered a magical substance during sixth grade.

No, I’m not talking about coffee. That wouldn’t be until my freshman year of high school. I am speaking of the coveted, almost holy substance that is the “Slim Fast Shake”. From the moment my mother set the “rich chocolate royale” shake in front of me, I knew that I had fallen in love. The smooth, rich taste of the beverage filled my heart with a joy that had been previously unknown to me. To this day, the sound of setting an empty shake can on the table gives me a satisfying sense of triumph, of a task willingly completed.

I, of course, do not use the shakes as a method of weight loss, but a simple, easy way for me to reap the benefits of a nutritious breakfast without feeling too full or too hungry. The shakes have become a method of convenience for me— I can drink them in the car on the way to school, while I finish a last-minute homework math problem in the wee hours of morning, or even during my zero hour class.

From then on, I drank “Slim-Fast” shakes, in the “Rich Chocolate Royale”, “French Vanilla”, or “Cappuccino Delight” flavors almost every morning, other than when my parents bought chocolate-chip bagels, made pancakes, etc. I had found my match.

So, “Slim-Fast” and I were destined to live happily ever after. Or so I thought.

My perfectly executed plan, my devotion to the wondrous beverage has been forcibly cut short since December 3 2009. Why, do you ask? Since this horrible date, all “Slim-Fast” ready-to-drink shakes, regardless of flavor and expiration date, have been recalled.

The company that owns the brand, Unilever, released a press release that nationally recalled all of its products. As a major consumer of the product at Sam’s Club and other grocery stores, my house was given a phone call the day of the statement. According to its website, “Unilever United States, Inc., in cooperation with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA), is conducting a nationwide voluntary recall of all Slim-Fast® ready-to-drink (RTD) products in cans, due to the possibility of contamination with Bacillus cereus, a micro-organism, which may cause diarrhea and possibly nausea and/or vomiting.”

Naturally, I was horrified by this statement. What had gone wrong? Had I ingested any of this micro-organism? And, most importantly, when could I actually buy more shakes? At the time of the press release, I had ingested about half of a large bulk of shakes that I had bought from Sam’s Club in bulk. Considering I had not felt any symptoms of illness, I decided to risk becoming sick for the sake of my love for “Slim-Fast” and drank all of the rest of the shakes. Though it sounds crazy, I would rather vomit than be without my beloved shakes for a long period of time.

Since the recall, there has been no sign of the company offering new shakes for the public to buy. Heartbroken, I begged my mother to search for a substitute. I now eat peanut butter on a piece of whole wheat bread some days and my mother has recently pulled out the Instant Breakfast again, which I refuse to drink. I have also starting to drink other breakfast shakes such as the Target brand and the “Market Pantry” brand shakes. Each brand does in no way compare to the original, the best.

Reader, I hope you now sympathize with the plight of the picky eater, one who is destined to become heartbroken and frustrated. I anxiously visit Slim-Fast.com, awaiting the happy day when their shakes will be sold again.